


Battered & Bleeding & Best Friends

by ActuallyMarina



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depressed teens, Eventual Romance, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Kaede and Rantaro clearly like Shuichi but he's a disaster bi, M/M, Multi, OT3, POV Alternating, Polyamory, Pre-Canon, Pre-Game Akamatsu Kaede, Pre-Game Amami Rantaro, Pre-Game Saihara Shuichi, Suicidal Thoughts, Trust Issues, on the nose symbolism, we have fun here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21526996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActuallyMarina/pseuds/ActuallyMarina
Summary: Rantaro and Kaede would be dead in less than two years. Shuichi couldn't pick up the pieces of their past, even if he tried.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Amami Rantaro, Akamatsu Kaede/Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi, Akamatsu Kaede/Saihara Shuichi, Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 11
Kudos: 48





	1. Shuichi

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

_"Why are you smiling like that..? Why are you still trying to get me to be brave?"_

_━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━_

The Danganronpa finale was easily the most anticipated live event of the year. Not that there was much else to do, but the masses packed into watch-parties like sardines. Normal sized televisions wouldn't cut it.

The producers had outdone themselves this season. When it came to getting tickets, it helped to have connections. Otherwise, your only real option was standing out in the cold for a few hours.

Shuichi wasn't a huge fan of crowds, but he was good at waiting without making a fuss. It was practically his sole talent, and it got him his ticket.

The venue was full; standing room only. Sheets of white vinyl blanketed every other wall, a high tech projector aimed at each of them. Lights flashed. The show's famous soundtrack boomed through expensive speakers. It looked more like a nightclub than a television event.

In an atmosphere like that, Shuichi didn't stand out at all. People tended to step on his feet or spill drinks on him unless he kept his distance. Thankfully, he was more or less safe if he made sure to hug a wall the whole time.

There were benefits to putting up with all the commotion, anyway.

The remaining survivors were struggling through their final trial. Earlier this season, Monokuma had offered an unprecedented motive to the group.

One participant was randomly selected without the others knowing. They were offered information on any single other classmate, but bound to secrecy in return. It was against the rules to discuss what they discovered. Likewise, to reveal they even used the motive in the first place.

The Ultimate Garden Landscaper picked the mastermind, completely by accident. The class trial couldn't uncover a motive for the subsequent murder. The blackened couldn't say a thing in their own defense. Not a bad plot line for a minor character in the second case.

They ruined it by using hedge trimmers as a weapon, though. How obvious could you get?

Shuichi's face was buried in a notebook full of theories. As he looked over the dense lines of ink, he couldn't help but feel like this research was his golden ticket. He'd spent years trying to get ahead of the storylines, and he was finally getting good at it. Plenty of other people bet on the games, but he was being practical.

If he showed up to his audition and explained how he predicted the endings, even Team Danganronpa would be impressed.

"Come _on_ , I thought you guys were friends!"

An irritated voice rang directly into his ear, startling him out of his thoughts. The final trial wasn't going well. With no mastermind left to find, the students were throwing insane accusations around. It really undermined all the inspirational speeches from earlier in the game.

"I don't know why I expected so much from this cast... Doesn't an ending like this piss you off?"

For a second, he didn't even register the voice again. Shuichi glanced over, immediately facing the intense gaze of a very pretty blonde girl. He anxiously tugged down the brim of his hat and stuttered for an answer.

She was way too close, and there were so many other people there. Somehow, against all odds, she was talking _to him_.

"M-Me? I don't know..."

The girl waited for him to continue, but he didn't have anything else to offer. She scoffed, clearly amused by his non-answer. "You don't know? I figured you'd have an opinion, seeing as you're _writing notes_."

He snapped the notebook shut, cradling it close to his body. It was impossible to say what he was even afraid of, in that moment. That she'd make fun of him? Or try to steal it?

If she noticed or cared about his discomfort, the blonde gave zero indication. She carried on talking without a second thought.

"Oh, come on, don't be embarrassed. Fanboys are sort of cute, in their own way." Finally, she straightened up. A little bit of his personal space had been returned to him. "Don't keep it all to yourself. Tell me what you think!"

The way she spoke was strange. It felt like being cheered on by someone that would beat him up later. He swallowed and tried to ignore how dry his mouth was. There was no running away, unless he wanted to miss the finale.

"...I mean, it's not over yet, right?" It felt like a small miracle that he could speak at all, so he kept going. "It doesn't feel fair to decide you don't like it before it's over."

She needed a minute to decide if she liked his answer better this time. The girl hummed, then gave a firm nod. A satisfied smile pulled at her lips.

"Yeah, that's more like it! Good point! I'm Kaede, by the way."

Introductions were, historically, a little bit of a stumbling block for Shuichi. He knew how someone confident and cool _might_ reply, but his brain rarely cooperated with his tongue. This time was no different.

"I'm... Shuichi. Do you like Danganronpa too?"

Kaede looked at him like he were stupid, but as though she at least found his stupidity charming. Her face was so animated. Mouth, nose, eyes; every muscle full of personality. He usually didn't notice details like that.

"It's more like I literally have nothing better to do. But, who doesn't love a good killing game, right?" She gave a half-interested glance back toward the room's large monitors. The students arguing in favor of hope seemed to finally be gaining some ground.

Shuichi fumbled to open his notebook again, searching for the most recent page. He didn't want to get excited over nothing, but things were going well so far.

**Students will decide, based on faith alone, that the mastermind is absolutely not one of them. They won't vote for the blackened.**

**As an alternative, Monokuma will present the survivors with a Prisoner's Dilemma game to test their loyalty. The only voting options are 'Trust' and 'Betray'.**

**One student will vote 'Betray' in a misguided attempt to subvert killing game.**

"Wow, no way..."

He felt breath on his cheek as Kaede read over his shoulder. Her eyes scanned the page, then flickered back up to the show. Once. Twice. Three times.

"Hasn't it been years since they last did a Prisoner's Dilemma? I figured they phased that out by now."

It was hard to focus with her standing like that, but moving away felt rude. Plus, he was starting to reluctantly appreciate the attention. There was nothing wrong with showing off his hard work to someone interested.

"It was last done in season nine, actually," he replied. His heart was beating loud enough that it made his vision look funny. The game was proceeding exactly as he hoped and the final votes were being revealed. The audience was basking in it. "I wonder if… I really got it right this time?”

His eyes were wide enough for the light of the screens to reflect off of them. The last vote came from the group's long-time, unofficial leader. They stared down at their hands as the word "BETRAY" scrolled across the digital walls of the trial room.

A collective gasp seemed to cut through the viewing party. Kaede clasped her hands together, clearly delighted by the outcome.

"That's right! His sister..!"

The doomed students demanded an explanation. Tears spilled down their cheeks. Their faces contorted in pain and confusion. When their leader wouldn't speak, his closest friend came to his defense.

She knew why he did it. To keep his promise to his sick little sister.

He would have died alongside his friends if there was no other choice, but instead, he was shown an escape hatch. That glimmer of hope had changed everything in an instant.

It was a passing plot line at the beginning of their relationship. Bringing it back at the end was genius storytelling, and the viewers agreed.

Kaede elbowed him in the arm, swelling with vicarious pride.

"Now _that's_ impressive, Shuichi! You're not secretly an Ultimate Psychic, right?"

"No, just a regular person." He looked back down at his notes. It was so hard to believe. “I guess… there’s nothing left to do but audition.”

In lieu of a response, Shuichi found the bright screen of a smart phone being pushed in front of his nose. Kaede had to lean down in order to peer beneath his hat’s brim.

"Give me your phone number, okay? I'm not done with you yet!"

When Shuichi agreed, he hadn't realized what he was getting into. Kaede didn't beat around the bush for even a second. She admitted to assuming he was a gambling prodigy of some kind. Predicting the ending was a risky way to get huge returns, but his research wasn’t for profit.

At first, she scolded him for squandering his talents. As though _she_ lost a potential jackpot through his negligence. Before long, Shuichi found himself with regular company. Kaede said she had nothing better to do, and it seemed to be the truth.

Despite their differences, they had more than enough in common to get along. Two normal, talentless teenagers that couldn't see a future for themselves. Their parents didn't seem to know why they'd bothered to have children. They were too over it to even hate them anymore.

They stopped going to any classes. That time was better spent crafting the perfect auditions for Danganronpa.

The local library, or what was left of it, was almost always empty during the day. No one blinked an eye at two kids in uniforms from different schools huddled together. The adults could guess what they were up to, but didn't care. That was fine, as long as no one bothered them.

It could have been several days or weeks or months. He lost track of time when Kaede was around. Something about her ever-present smile stuck with him at all hours. She had a supernatural talent for making him feel seen and worthwhile.

He even confessed to her that he wanted to be the Ultimate Detective, if he had the choice. She told him it was perfect.

The fantasy was fun by itself, even if it amounted to nothing in the end. He hoped she felt that way too. (But, he wasn’t about to ask. The thought alone made him nauseous.)

Kaede slumped over a thick book with a gilded cover, sighing for the dozenth or so time. It was a detailed account of the 25th season of Danganronpa. The milestone years were always special in some way, and on top of that, the book itself was an anniversary edition.

It was such an obvious cash-grab, he couldn't help but be impressed. Their marketing department was as good as their show runners.

"The next season is the 52nd..." She looked across the table, lips pursed in irritation. "We totally never had a chance of getting into a special year. Doesn't that make you mad?"

Shuichi could only let out a small laugh, smiling sympathetically. There were few things that didn't make Kaede mad in some way or another. Right now, his only major disappointment was that he still wasn't brave enough to sit directly next to her.

"Getting into any year would make me happy. Beggars can't be choosers, right?"

She puffed out her cheeks, but picked up her pen instead of arguing. They were almost halfway through comparing his notes to the actual events of the killing games. He started a few years ago, catching up on old games and making guesses as he went. Some of his outlines had corrections written in red ink, but most of them still needed gaps filled in.

Their logic was straightforward; treat the audition like a test and study for it.

At first, Shuichi was worried he might end up doing most of the work. Despite her frequent bouts of nihilism, Kaede seemed to have an endless well of motivation to draw from. She required a small push every once in a while, but her work was thorough.

Kaede slid her own notebook across the table, then leaned back in her chair. She stretched her arms over her head and yawned loudly.

"Your turn! How close are your predictions?"

Back to work. Shuichi gathered his materials, checking the outlines side-by-side. He chewed the inside of his cheek and tried to swallow his disappointment. Even if it was worth the learning experience, digging through his old material stung.

A few years ago, his imagination was extremely limited.

"Not very..." He started filling the margins of his old notes with corrections. "I was convinced that, this time, the student with amnesia was the Ultimate Lucky Student. Attributing all of her successes to luck took me in the completely wrong direction."

"Well, it would be crazy if you were right 100% of the time. I wonder..."

It sounded like Kaede had more to say, but she stopped. He focused and continued his corrections, ignorant of whatever had distracted her.

“Um… Shuichi? Someone’s behind you.”

Before he could react, a large hand came to rest beside the notebooks. Shuichi quickly found himself eclipsed by the shadow of a stranger.

He looked up, seeing a tall young man leaning over the table to scan their research. He had unkempt, sandy hair and an apathetic glaze over his entire expression.

"This is impressive stuff," he mused, his tone as casual as his body language. "But, don't good little bookworms like you have anything better to do?"

Shuichi opened his mouth, but no words came out. Kaede stood up from her chair, letting it clatter noisily against the wooden floor.

"Does acting all high and mighty get _you_ a lot of friends?" She bit back. "It's none of your business."

The new arrival chuckled and took a step back, raising his hands as if surrendering.

"Hey, hey... Calm down! I didn't mean to interrupt your date."

Any progress Shuichi had made toward entering the argument reset in an instant. He kept his head down and stared at his knees. What kind of person got sweaty from hearing the word 'date'?

"I meant it; your dedication is impressive. I've never seen kids so serious about prepping for auditions before." He paused. The sheepish smile in his voice was evident. "And, you're right. I'm not very good at making friends. Was it obvious?"

Apparently now content that he wasn't mocking them, Kaede sat back down in her chair. When he dared to glance up, her arms were folded defensively beneath her chest.

"Don't call us 'kids'," she told him flatly. "There's no way you're that much older than either of us. Who are you, anyway?"

The situation was defusing. There was more movement beside him as the stranger took a seat, elbow resting on the table.

"Ah, I'm just full of bad manners today. Sorry, I'm Rantaro Amami."

Shuichi sat up a little straighter, looking over their new guest for the first time. Somehow, his effortless nature made him look that much more intimidating.

That name was familiar too. Why did he know it already?

"Rantaro... Amami?" Kaede echoed his introduction. She trailed off, then let out a surprised yelp.

"Oh! Rantaro Amami! I've heard rumors about you! Everyone says you're a shoo-in to get selected for the next killing game."

She was right. For whatever reason, Rantaro Amami had become a pseudo-celebrity over the past year. No one knew what gave him a so-called edge over other hopeful candidates, and he was tight-lipped about all of it. To even see him in public was unprecedented.

"Is that the only thing people ever say about me? Still?" Rantaro frowned and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm also a pretty nice guy, but rumors like that aren't as popular, I guess."

Shuichi cleared his throat. If he didn't chime in soon, the conversation would get away from him.

"...You knew what we’re doing. Have you been watching us?" That was less of a question and more of a conclusion, but it was still odd. Someone so well-suited for Danganronpa didn't need to spy on them. "And, introducing yourself… You didn’t have a reason to do that unless it could benefit you.”

"He must be worried that we have a better chance of getting picked than him." Kaede had already recovered. He didn't know where her sheer confidence came from. "Are you jealous? Did you come to beg for our help?"

Shuichi wanted to tell her that she was going a little too far, but Rantaro beamed at the pair. His reaction was instant.

"Good guess! I've seen you here a few times now, and it got me curious. Is there any room in this study group?"

Even Kaede seemed surprised by that. She opened and closed her mouth before glancing over at Shuichi. For once, she looked as stumped as he felt.

"I mean... It's _his_ research, not mine."

There was no good reason to agree, but he found himself wanting to anyway. Kaede and Rantaro had something in common. Their requests felt like they didn't leave much room for refusal.

Maybe he was a compulsive people-pleaser.

"...As long as you take it seriously, I don't see why not."

Rantaro clapped a grateful hand on his shoulder. Somehow, it felt like everything had gone according to his plan.

"I don't know how much help someone like me will be, but I'll try my best. Am I allowed to ask your names?"

"Kaede and Shuichi." Keeping an eye trained on their new acquisition, Kaede leaned a hand onto her chin. "But, enough chitchat. Why does everyone think you'll get picked? Tell us!"

Rantaro hummed, looking back and forth between the pair. Shuichi adjusted his hat, but he felt his ears get hot. He couldn’t hide his own curiosity.

"Who knows? I hear it's something about my temperament."

"That's all? What a letdown..." Kaede tried to square away that logic for a few seconds. "Maybe there's a better reason, but you don't know it yourself."

"If you figure it out, let me know," Rantaro offered. "It'll be like discovering the ultimate lifehack. I bet Team Danganronpa would either hire us or have us killed. Pretty cool either way."

The conversation was slipping away again. Shuichi looked down at their research. Rantaro was evasive, and he couldn't tell if it was on purpose.

"You have a guess, right?" His own voice nearly startled him. Talking to someone else in front of Kaede was unexpectedly nerve-wracking, so he focused on Rantaro. The last thing he wanted to do was look stupid. "Even if you don't know what makes you a good candidate, you know yourself best. Haven't you thought about it?"

Rantaro's gaze floated upward, as though he were thinking.

"Sure, I've thought about it. That doesn't mean I can explain it to anyone that asks, though."

"Oh, that's how you can contribute, then!" Kaede's fingers drummed excitedly against the tabletop. "I can research old seasons, Shuichi can tell us how they align with his predictions, and you can tell us about yourself. I bet we'd all learn something useful!"

Rantaro’s expression turned intensely reluctant. It made sense; giving lectures on yourself felt both authoritarian and awkward at the same time.

"That's... kind of embarrassing," he argued. "I would feel bad if you guys did all the hard work while I ran my mouth."

"Then think of something else you can do too!" His protests were useless against Kaede's fanatical enthusiasm. "I think I'm onto something. Right, Shuichi?”

She stood up and reached across the table, laying her hands on his. Whether or not it was a good idea, he didn't know. But it sure sounded good coming out of her mouth.

He nodded.

"Y-Yeah, I agree. Our current workload can't be split between three people, anyway." Rantaro let out a good-humored sigh. Shuichi couldn't help but smile. "We can all help each other in different ways. If it doesn't feel fair, you can think of another way to contribute. Take your time."

"You two are scary. Especially this one." Rantaro tilted his head to indicate Kaede, then crossed his arms loosely. "And I never said I needed time to think of more ways to help."

Leaning in, he picked up one of their discarded pens and began writing on Kaede's notebook.

"Next time, swing by my place. I got resources of my own and it's a lot cozier than a library."

When he was finished, Rantaro flashed yet another easy smile. Shuichi had to look away. Eye contact was hard enough already. Somehow, he met two people that made it even harder.

He hoped it would get easier.

But, Rantaro's suggestion quickly helped the group. His small apartment wasn't luxurious, but he was right about it being more comfortable. Kaede used his computer for her research. She typed faster than she wrote, which sped things up considerably.

While Shuichi cross-referenced his notes, Kaede and Rantaro would goof off. Shuffling through videos of Danganronpa highlights, talking about the season they researched last.

He started noticing every single time she laughed at something Rantaro said. It wasn't on purpose, but he'd sneak a look long enough to see them smiling and enjoying themselves.

It felt unfair that he had to compete with someone so friendly and handsome.

When it was Kaede's turn to write notes again, it was exactly the same. Shuichi found he was the one laughing and having fun. Rantaro asked about his ideas. They talked about their dream roles on Danganronpa.

Rantaro liked the idea of being a fan favorite. They talked about the best executions, and how intense the trials looked.

Shuichi wanted a reason to dislike him, but none came.

Before long, the research stopped being the focus. No one mentioned it, but it felt different. After so many years of being unable to make friends, he'd somehow gotten some. The scary part was that they were definitely too special to hang around someone like him.

One day, as they crowded around Rantaro's small TV set together, he decided not to think about it too much. Their get-togethers kept going longer. All three of them would manage to 'lose track of time' for hours on end.

After yet another marathon of highlights from old killing games, Kaede spoke up. She was tired and wanted to take a break. Rantaro jokingly suggested that Shuichi's lap looked comfortable, and things moved quickly after that. Kaede laid down, head resting on his thigh.

She asked Rantaro to play with her hair. Shuichi was surrounded by warmth on all sides and didn't know what to do with himself. He elected to keep him mouth shut and enjoy it. The sound of relaxed breathing filled the room like water in a fishtank. He’d be glad to drown in it, if asked.

"Hey... What do you think my Ultimate talent should be?"

Minutes or hours could have passed before Kaede spoke again. Rantaro's fingers were still combing through her hair. His free arm was draped lazily over Shuichi's shoulders, pulling the both of them close.

When Kaede's eyes opened, she gave him a pointed stare. He stumbled to answer, not prepared for such a casual conversation.

"I-I thought you didn't care what talent they give you?" She had said so, at least. Quite a few times. Regardless, Kaede stuck her tongue out.

"I don't! I just want to know what you guys think would suit me."

Rantaro hummed thoughtfully. Shuichi was pressed close enough to his chest to feel it vibrate. As usual, he seemed unfazed. They were getting even more impossible to keep up with everyday.

"Everyone wants a talent that makes them look good, right? Would you prefer something like that?"

"No hints," Kaede told him. She reached up, fingers mimicking a gun and taking aim below Rantaro's chin. She prodded him playfully. "Answer or I'll blow your head off! Or something? Ahaha.~"

"Fine, don't shoot! When did this turn into a mock trial?" Despite his protests, Rantaro only gave a small shrug. He didn't have to think long. "I'll go with... Ultimate Childhood Friend. I bet you'd be great with a classic trope like that."

"Seriously? It's not a dating show!" She bent her elbow, slowly moving her 'weapon' back to her side. "Buuut, fine. You get to live for now."

Shuichi then saw Kaede's gaze rest expectantly on him. He frowned. He had an answer of his own, but he didn't want to say it. He wasn't sure he _could_ say it, even under fake-threat on his life.

"...I don't know."

A mischievous hand rested on top of his head, then swiftly pushed down the brim of his hat. Rantaro laughed as Shuichi tried to bat him away.

"That's not fair. She shot my idea down, so she deserves a chance to shoot yours down too."

"F-Fine, okay! Don't do that..!" He scrambled to keep his hat from falling off and desperately wished he was better at thinking on his feet. "Maybe... something related to music would suit Kaede?"

"That's way too vague, Shuichi." Kaede closed one eye, taking aim once more. Her index finger pressed down on his dry bottom lip. "Be more specific! You have three seconds!"

He felt like a deer in headlights, and the touching wasn’t helping. Neither was the slow countdown.

Before she could reach zero, he blurted out his response.

"Ultimate... Pianist?"

Shuichi cleared his throat. He was talking again before either of them could respond.

"I-I mean, you're putting me on the spot. It's not something I've put a lot of thought into, or anything."

That was a lie. At some point, the image of Kaede sitting behind an elegant grand piano floated into his head. He imagined soothing music flowing from her fingers and a serene smile on her lips. Nothing could suit her better than that.

"Did you have to upstage me so badly? Jeez, hold back next time, Shuichi..." Rantaro shifted from side to side, tilting his head to peer up at the ceiling. "I can see Kaede with a talent like that. Pretty girls have it easy, though. They get popular no matter what."

Kaede let out a somewhat listless laugh. When Shuichi glanced down again, she seemed disappointed.

"Both of you get zero points. A _childhood friend_ and a _pianist?_ I expected better answers than that."


	2. Rantaro

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

_"I want us all to meet again... and I'll work hard to make that happen."_

_━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━_

He was starting to like the smell of acetone. Auditioning for Danganronpa had recently moved to the back of his mind, replaced by a compulsive urge to be close to Kaede and Shuichi.

That urge was more than 50% of the way to being fully satisfied, he figured. It turned out Shuichi was next to impossible to get through to. Rantaro began wondering if _he_ was doing something wrong, but even Kaede had a hard time believing that. She wasn't getting anywhere either.

Apparently subtleties didn't work on Shuichi. It was another unfair fact of life that they could bond over when they weren't studying.

As a result, he began associating the smell of acetone with a lot of things. Their shared frustrations. Self-deprecation. And, eventually, the somewhat chemical taste of inexpensive lip gloss.

She taught him how to paint her nails. He made mistakes often enough that nail polish remover stayed uncapped and ready for use at all times. No matter how much she teased him for his messy technique, Rantaro didn't mind. They would sit on the floor of his bedroom, her back to his chest, snug between his bent legs. Her hands resting on his knees as he leaned over her shoulder to drag the small brush across her nails.

The more mistakes he made, the longer they could stay that way.

He felt Kaede let out a long sigh, head tipping back to rest against his. As usual, her hair smelled very nice. When he didn't say anything in response, she sighed once more. The silence between them never lasted long.

"Maybe... Shuichi doesn't like me at all?" It was an oft-repeated theory of hers, no matter how many times he argued otherwise.

"This again? There's no way you worried this much about whether or not _I_ liked you. " His painting slowed down as he tried not to laugh. The shade of pink suited her. It was nice to look at, just like she was. "I can't hold a candle to someone so earnest, huh? What a drag, always being the least favorite."

Nudging an elbow backward, Kaede jabbed at his ribs a few times. He let out something between a cough and a protest. Her teasing always managed to be both cruel and affectionate in equal measure.

"Quit the pity party." Even without seeing her expression, he could tell she was pouting. Taking the nail polish brush from his hand, she leaned forward and returned it to the bottle. "I didn't _have_ to worry about you like this! That's a good thing, and you know it."

"Sorry, I can't help feeling bad for myself. I wonder if needing outside validation is what makes me a good candidate for Danganronpa?"

Rantaro snaked a hand around her middle, pulling her against him once more and holding her there. She turned her head to try and look back at him, smiling slyly.

"If it is, I might be your biggest competition."

"See? We make a good pair, too."

He eased his face into the crook of her neck, lips parted as he placed slow, easy kisses across her skin. Kaede laughed and twisted against his arm, as if trying to wiggle away.

"No fair! You can't do that while my nails are wet!" In an attempt to preserve her painted nails, both hands stayed stretched out in front of her. "You're the worst, you know that?"

"Of course." He released his grip on her with a shrug. She scrambled on her knees to turn around and face him, still trying to bite back a smile. "I'm nothing if not self-aware. That's why you and Shuichi are both too good for me."

Kaede rolled her eyes and shuffled even closer, reaching out to carefully cup his face in her hands. He ran a hand down her side until it came to rest on her hip. Her eyes were easy to look into.

"Why don't you let us decide that, okay?"

He didn't bother replying, opting instead to let her lean in and press her lips against his. Every kiss between them made him feel sick and needy in a way he couldn't quite explain. She didn't want to hear him say it, but it was true.

Kaede and Shuichi were different. If someone as empty as him saw hope in them, they could still lead normal lives. He was jealous of their energy and innocence. At some point, he found himself wanting to preserve it.

But doing that was hard. Letting Kaede straddle his hips and run her fingers through his hair was easy. At least, until he pulled away from the kiss with a frown.

"I thought your nails were still wet. Did you get a bunch of pink gunk in my hair?"

She sat back against his bent legs, wearing a self-satisfied smile, and showed him her hands. Sure enough, most of the fuchsia paint had come off in streaks. Each of her fingers was its own contained mess.

"Oops, I messed them up! Looks like you have to start over." Kaede, of course, didn't sound sorry in the least. She was too good at distracting him. "First, let me wash your hair. Poor Shuichi might think you have a gaping head wound if we leave you this way."

"I got it. It's already late, go find something to eat and wait for me."

"Fiiiine. What are you, my big brother?"

It was almost like she expected him to argue more. Too bad. He liked the idea of taking care of her like his own family. Maybe in another life.

More than an hour later, his hair was still damp and Kaede's nails were only half-painted. Every once in a while, Shuichi looked disappointed that the two of them had been alone together for most of the day. This was becoming more common, since Kaede stopped going to school a while ago.

His eyes lingered, but he didn't say anything.

"I don't feel like working anymore," she announced, with her usual energetic authority. Her decree was met with patient silence.

"A break could be nice," Shuichi offered. It was polite of him to agree, even if he didn't mean it. The boy could research and write for hours on end without stopping. "We were thinking about re-watching the first Danganronpa next, I think..."

"Nah, I don't want to do that either. How about..."

Kaede hummed, as though considering their options. When her gaze fell on Rantaro, a mischievous glint came to her eyes. "How about we talk about you today? Friendly conversation, no pressure!"

He let out an unenthusiastic scoff.

"We're still not done with that? It's embarrassing."

"Well, we haven't made much progress figuring out what makes you a good candidate..." Shuichi glanced up for a moment before peering down at his hands again. Their research was strewn about the low table, and most of it was born out of Shuichi's hard work. Rantaro didn't love having a visual reminder that he wasn't contributing very much. "Auditions are coming up soon, right? Figuring out what they like to see in participants is our last big hurdle."

The way he fidgeted with the corner of his well-worn notebook was nice to watch. It made Rantaro want to ask to paint his nails sometime too.

"Ah, you two are so cute. Alright, I'll try to help. I promised to pull my weight, after all. Let's clean up."

Shuichi tidied the space, moving the fruits of his labor into several neat piles. Kaede took stacks of notebooks and hardcover books, placing them in their designated spot on a previously empty bookshelf. Rantaro was the last of the group to settle on the floor around the table.

As usual, the others flanked each of his sides. It looked like some kind of strange, three-sided interview. He leaned back, giving his shoulders a casual stretch before beginning. "Okay. What would you nice kids like to know? My skincare routine? What kind of date I like best?"

Leaning an elbow against the tabletop, Kaede was already pointing a scolding finger in his direction. She couldn't hide her amusement, but tried anyway. "You can't _start_ off-topic! At least pretend to take this seriously for once."

On the other hand, Shuichi already seemed to be considering his own line of inquiry. What a shame. It was getting a little easier to loosen him up, but barely.

"Logically, shouldn't we focus on what Junko Enoshima would like about you? How we look from her perspective... What made previous participants a good fit..."

That was a decent point, as usual. Those two sets of bright, eager eyes were piercing into him, as if waiting for him to spill some hidden wisdom. Didn't they realize that being stared at only made it harder to think?

Rantaro resisted the urge to insist that maybe Junko Enoshima _would_ want dating advice from him. He was good at so-called girl talk.

"Oh, are there things about me to like? That's news to me." He offered a shrug, but knew better than to stop there. He could tell his answer wasn't good enough without it being pointed out. "If you could figure it out by thinking hard, everyone would know by now."

"You can only say that because people have always told you how special you are," Kaede argued. There was less amusement to be found in her voice than a moment ago. "If you don't want to help us, just be honest about it instead of playing dumb."

Shuichi visibly bristled at the harsh response while Rantaro laughed, clutching a hand to his chest.

"Ouch. Be gentle, Kaede. Baring your soul isn't supposed to be easy. If I'm too honest, you might not like me anymore."

She was unmoved by his theatrics, and didn't hesitate to say so.

"Well, I don't like you very much right now, either."

And, that time, it stung a little bit. Like validation he both wanted desperately and hated hearing. Enough to keep him smiling, comfortable in the knowledge that he deserved it.

"I can't win, can I? In that case, I guess I have to play along. Which of my winning qualities is most important..?"

Kaede still looked doubtful, but didn't interrupt. If she knew better, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of her scorn.

Then again, it was working. Their combined attention made him want to talk.

"If you're putting me on the spot, then I..."

He had a hard time landing on an end to the sentence. After a too-long pause, he felt himself surrender to honesty. They'd have to settle for whatever came out of his mouth.

"I... have no faith in humanity whatsoever. I've always been that way, as long as I can remember. Pretty basic, right?"

The truth tasted strange in his mouth, but his easy smile didn't budge. They already knew plenty of things that made him unlikeable. What was one more?

"...Wow. Wasn't that pretty good, Shuichi? I can't believe he gave a real answer!" Kaede gave his chest a playful shove, beaming as though they'd hit on something significant. Shuffling closer to his side of the table, she looked back and forth between the two boys.

"Don't flatter me," he replied, scratching the hair at the nape of his neck. "It's not like it's a good thing. If being a nihilistic sadsack only gets me into a killing game, it's not worth the burden. I'd rather have your youthful energy."

"...Does that mean you're jealous of us?" Shuichi had a slant to his mouth as he thought aloud. After a split second of reflection, he shook his head. "Wait, that's not the right word. What would you even be jealous of?"

Trust Shuichi to get exactly the right answer without realizing it. It took him by surprise just long enough that Rantaro couldn't get the next word in.

"The important part is that you could be onto something! Having the right attitude has to be a big part of it." Kaede hardly seemed to notice the brief tangent, humming thoughtfully. "Hating everything is easy. The world, each other, yourself... I feel that way all the time!"

At first, it didn't make sense to imagine Kaede in the same way that he saw himself. Everything about her was lively. She wasn't beyond help, the same way he was. When did she start thinking that way? Did he influence her, somehow?

A dense pit of something awful formed in Rantaro's stomach, and he finally felt himself frown. It could be guilt, but he was too numb to give it a specific name.

But when he looked back toward Shuichi, the other boy was nodding as though it made perfect sense. Like he could also relate without much issue.

"It makes me wonder..." Fiddling with the brim of his hat, as he always did when addressing Kaede, he had clearly come to a realization. "Could one of us be the mastermind? That would be amazing..."

Kaede practically crawled over the table in order to give Shuichi another ecstatic shove. This time, it was enough to topple him off his cushion and onto his back. He gaped up at his friend, alarmed.

"Shut _up!_ Don't get my hopes up like that, Shuichi!" She was smiling from ear to ear, like he'd delivered the perfect compliment.

"Like... what if they gave me a twin sister? Everyone thinks I'm dead, but there's a huge twist at the end? Even if I didn't win in the end, it would be exciting, right?"

It was impressive how quickly she'd taken to the idea. On the other hand, Rantaro was starting to drown in creeping apprehension. He cleared his throat, and felt his shoulders loosen up once more. There was no point in arguing.

"Now, _that's_ worth a hundred points. Between our insight, enthusiasm, and high octane cynicism, I think we have this audition thing figured out. You can stand to look a little more excited about it, Shuichi."

Surprised to find himself being addressed again, Shuichi only sputtered. He stayed propped up on one elbow, and didn't seem certain if it was okay for him to sit up again. Wide-eyed, he needed a moment to collect himself.

"I-I'm excited. I am." Shuichi was having difficulty handling the sudden praise. Thank god he was so transparent. It made it easy to get him to say what you wanted. "You don't need to push me, Kaede..."

Placated by the positive feedback, his assailant laughed innocently and sat back down.

"Ah, sorry, Shuichi. I'm really happy, that's all! Doesn't it feel like we finally have it all figured out? We worked so hard to get to this point!"

Shuichi finally dared to return to his own place at the table, still looking taken aback.

"That's true... I always liked Danganronpa and now..."

"It's every kid's dream," Rantaro continued. "Finding the perfect time and place to die. The only difference is that we can be together when it happens."

Kaede nodded fiercely. For some reason, his eyes were drawn to the stains of pink still visible on her hands. It looked like blood, and it didn't belong there. They stewed in thoughtful silence.

"I wonder..." The doubt in Shuichi's voice saturated every syllable. It was hard not to feel for him. "Can we really do it? Will we all pass auditions?"

Maybe he didn't want to die, or maybe he did. Either way, he figured they deserved a chance to think about it for a little longer. Free from the social poison that was Rantaro Amami.

"Here's a thought. What if we... put off our auditions for another year?"

Rantaro moved to Kaede's side and draped an arm around her shoulders, offering an easy smile. He knew the pivot in conversation was jarring, so he kept talking.

"I guess I'm a big sap, but I like spending time with you guys. If we audition now, we probably won't see each other again. If we wait, we get one more peaceful year as a study group. Together, y'know?"

Kaede let out an irritated whine, less than pleased by the idea. "Whaaat? You're not backing out, are you?"

"Of course not," he replied. "Who do you think you're talking to? Once we're picked and get new backstories and whatnot, there's no way we'll remember each other. If we can't enjoy our time in the game together, shouldn't we enjoy it now?"

Contemplative as ever, Shuichi's downcast gaze began moving nervously around the room. Anywhere but toward Kaede as he hesitated to voice his opinion on the matter.

"He has a point." The words came slowly, but Rantaro could feel the taste of ash and dirt leaving his mouth. The compulsive suck-up saves the day. "I guess I'm not as confident about what I want to do, so... I don't want to be left behind. S-Sorry."

Kaede looked back and forth, surprised to find she was outnumbered. The hum of the building's less-than-impressive air conditioning unit was deafening. Rantaro felt the barest tremble in his resting hands. Even in silence, she managed to be cruel.

"I can't believe you guys. Fine, okay! Next year for sure!"

Shuichi let out the sigh that Rantaro managed to keep in, relief settling over the room.

"Ah, good. It would be embarrassing for me if you didn't feel the same way." Squeezing her a little closer, Rantaro placed a grateful kiss to Kaede's neck. She laughed, and made a half-hearted attempt to push him away. At the edge of his periphery, he could see Shuichi flinch and sheepishly avert his eyes.

"Get off! I never said I didn't want something in return, did I?" Her face was a very cute shade of pink. For how bold she was in all things, public displays of affection made her squirm. "Promise we'll do it next year, Danganronpa V3! There'll be a penalty if you break it."

Now that they'd separated, Shuichi was quick to respond with several eager nods. Rantaro took the break in tension to stand up and wave a dismissive hand.

"Yeah, yeah. I swear on my worthless life. I'm exhausted from all the amazing breakthroughs we've had tonight. If you guys are staying over, go grab something to wear to bed before I pass out."

Though she could have kept going, Kaede relented with one last pout. With that little bit of encouragement, they each retreated to the bedroom.

They piled into his small bed without argument, arranged in their usual order. Rantaro in the middle, with precious body heat on each side. All of them wearing whatever comfortable pieces of clean clothing he had laying around.

His shirts fit Kaede better than they fit Shuichi. Somehow, that never ceased to amuse him.

It didn't take long for his eyes to adjust to the dark. Once the conversation died down, even the privacy of his own thoughts felt loud and hectic. Too bad. Usually he'd ignore all those nagging bad feelings, but they weren't just his problem anymore.

Rantaro let his eyes trace the cracks spread across his ceiling. When he finally allowed himself to sigh, it didn't change anything. The pressure in his chest stayed tight and unyielding. Even when he tried to do the right thing, he still felt the same.

Even someone like him couldn't help feeling bad for lying to a pretty girl. It didn't _have_ to be a lie, but it was. That was the worst part.

"...Are you worried about Kaede?"

He glanced to his left, making out Shuichi's gray eyes in the darkness. Without his hat to hide behind, the concerned furrow in his eyebrows was obvious. On his other side, Kaede was sleeping soundly with a hand tangled in the fabric of his shirt.

"I'm the oldest, it's my job to worry."

As if anticipating the vague answer, Shuichi's frown deepened.

"I mean, I didn't realize..." His already low voice trailed off, and for a moment it seemed like he wasn't going to continue. "She really wants to die, doesn't she?"

Poor Shuichi. Neither himself nor Kaede had the energy to tell him what he wanted to hear.

"It sure seems like it. I don't know why she'd be here, otherwise."

Uneasy quiet settled over them once more. As much sympathy as he had for him, it was hard not to think that Shuichi picked a strange time to start questioning what he was doing.

"I guess... it's different than I expected. I want to be picked, but I don't like thinking of us getting picked together. Is that strange?"

Rantaro had to suppress a small, humorless laugh. He turned onto his side, facing Shuichi with a sympathetic smile.

"Getting second thoughts? Maybe Kaede and I will elope without you, then."

"Please, don't." A subconscious hand reached up to tug on the bring of his hat. Finding nothing, he nervously combed his fingers through his hair. Even in the dark, he still wanted a way to hide his face. "I-I mean, it's okay if you like each other. I like that I'm not on my own, and that's good enough for me."

So naive. It would be embarrassing if it wasn't so sweet.

He only had to tilt his head closer before his lips brushed Shuichi's. Nervous, shallow breaths warmed his skin, but the other boy kept perfectly still.

"You should do this with Kaede," he muttered. "It'll make her happy."

Shuichi's eyes were still open when his own closed. Their kiss was soft and tentative, but embarrassingly earnest on Rantaro's end. It was an excuse to act on his needy impulses, and an easy way to further derail the conversation. Two birds with one stone.

By the time he pulled away again, Shuichi was still frozen in place. Even in the dark, he could see a thick blush beginning to creep across his pale face, down to his neck.

"...Not bad for a first time," Rantaro told him. He offered a good-humored smile. "But if you look scared afterward, it might hurt the other person's feelings."

Shuichi opened his mouth, then quickly shut it again.

"S-Sorry... I was surprised..."

Warm arms wrapped around his middle from behind, giving an encouraging squeeze. An amused hum from Kaede vibrated pleasantly against his back.

"Well? You took him by surprise." Her voice was tired and muffled, face buried in the fabric of his shirt. Having just woken up, she moved enough to peek over his shoulder at Shuichi. "That doesn't seem fair. Why don't you try again?"

It didn't take more than that.

Rantaro let Shuichi hold his face, tasting the inside of his mouth with leisure. Kaede didn't allow herself to be left out. Her cold hands slipped up the front of his shirt, sweet kisses peppering the back of his neck.

He had to wonder. Was what they had a cheap imitation of love, or something more genuine? They all liked feeling wanted. Being together, despite their painful isolation from society.

Long after Kaede and Shuichi fell asleep, he was staring at the ceiling again. It always felt wrong, but no reason to change his mind surfaced. And he kept looking for one, up until the very moment he found himself in front of a stern-looking panel of adults a few weeks later. People from Team Danganronpa.

"Don't mind the cameras," one of the figures said; about half a dozen sat along a wide table. "Rantaro Amami... can you tell us what makes you the ideal candidate for season fifty-two?"

Oh, there were too many to count at this point.

"Ah, bottomless nihilism, I guess?" He answered, both hands buried casually in his pants pockets. "If I get on, you can do whatever you want with me. Kill, be killed. It would be nice if I could be popular with fans, though."

Based on the amount of excited whispering happening, they seemed to like that. It almost made him forget that Shuichi and Kaede were still asleep in his bed after another late night ‘study session’.

If they were lucky, they'd never see him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LONG TIME NO SEE
> 
> the very ambient narrative style of this fic has made it challenging to write! i want to focus on all three characters while still giving the POV characters plenty of attention, which just makes thing loooooooooonger
> 
> i hope you enjoy it! this whole project has felt very experimental for me
> 
> (and surprise, i changed the fic name)
> 
> last chapter is kaede! she's gonna be PRETTY UPSET, so look forward to it!

**Author's Note:**

> my roommate just finished playing V3 and here's my thoughts: 
> 
> Shuichi is a disaster of a bisexual
> 
> Kaede and Rantaro are a lethal combination (also chaotic bis)
> 
> I love writing sad teens that wanna die getting hot and heavy and then also angsty
> 
> I'm just here to have a good time, i hope you enjoy yourself too
> 
> Two parts to go! Next chapter is Rantaro.


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